I will,' he went on, `tell you the story of what has happened to me, if
you like, but you must refrain from interruptions. I want to tell it.
Badly. Most of it will sound like lying. So be it! It's true--every word
of it, all the same.
There
are a lot of audiobook versions of "The
Time Machine" out there.
That's
what happens to books that travel through time and reach the public domain.
Most
of the audio editions are worth your time and dollars.
Some obscure versions are even
worth tracking down, though they're hard to find.
I've
focused on some of the more notable audio editions -- and their idiosyncrasies
--
on this page. Editions that are available have their titles
linked to their pages at Amazon.Com.
No one
has yet... as far as I know... recorded the
Holt Version,
either by design or by accident.
The
most glaring omission: Why don't we have a version narrated by Rod Taylor?
Seems like a natural!
 We
are the Morlocks who say, "Nee!"
The
Incredible Time Machine by H.G. Wells (Jabberwocky) 1973 Cassette
Adapted
and Directed by Bob Lewis, featuring Bernard Mayes as the Time Traveler,
with Rick Cimino, Joseph Gostanian, James Arrington, and Carolyn Lewis.
ISBN 0-88142002-6. The Mind's Eye, Produced by Jabberwocky, P.O. Box 6727,
San Francisco, CA 94101. Performance copyright date 1973.
1 Hour
- Dramatized
Fans of Monty Python will remember "The
Knights (pronounced kuh-nye-gets) Who Say 'Nee!' " in the film
"Monty Python and the Holy Grail." Well, in this faithful -
but rather lifeless - hour-long dramatized adaptation, the Morlocks
actually say "Nee!" as they caper about.
The background music is sparse and very,
very old; the sound effects are rudimentary (feedback through a spring-reverb
amp creates the sound of time travelling); and the acting is a bunch of
us yanks trying to put on upper-class British accents. The attempt at
Brit laughter around the Time Traveler's table (Haw, haw, haw!) is teeth-grinding.
The Eloi sound suspiciously like prairie dogs... and giggle in the speeded-up
style of the Munchkins. The acting is semi-competent, but rather undifferentiated:
The Time Traveler sounds as shocked by the sight of rhododendrons as he
is by the Morlocks. The performance of "Weena" is particularly
distressing.
In one of the oddest "abridgments"
ever, the Time Traveler only travels to 800,701... sacrificing a full
2,000 years - one assumes - on the altar of brevity.
Grade:
D+
A Natural Infinity of the Flesh
Performed
by Ben Kingsley, Executive Producers Michael Viner and Deborah Raffin,
Directed by Deborah Raffin, Production Coordinator Cindy Jo Hinkleman.
ISBN 1-55800-885-3.
Unabridged
Reading; Three Hours and Twenty Minutes on two Dolby Cassettes.
I like Ben Kingsley. I like him in "Searching
for Bobby Fischer." I'm glad that he landed the title role... as
opposed to, say, Robert Redford... in "Ghandi." They were right
to give him the Oscar. Ben Kingsley is great
on screen. He has a wonderful intensity that's conveyed even when he's
not speaking... you can see the mental wheels turning. He acts "thinking
silently" better than anyone in the entire world.
That's lost in an audio book, however, and
this reading is at times oddly flat, unenthusiastic and slow-moving. If
we could watch Ben Kingsley's face during the frequent pauses, this would
be a tour de force. But we can't. Perhaps some would prefer this style
of reading; perhaps it's even what the producers intended. It... is...
a.... bit... slow... however. Three hours and twenty minutes -- the Commuter's
Library unabridged reading is two and a half hours. That's a rather dramatic
difference in pace.
There is a major
gaffe in the first few minutes of the tape. When Wells writes about humankind's
indifference to the constant passage of time, because our consciousness
flows along with it, he terms this "a natural infirmity of the flesh."
Ben Kingsley reads this as "a
natural infinity of the flesh."
The error eluded both Kingsley and Executive
Producer and Director Deborah Raffin (herself a former actress; "Dance
of the Dwarfs," 1983; "Ski Lift to Death," 1978;
"Jacqueline Susann's Once is not Enough", 1975). The task of
offering desperately needed direction to Ben Kingsley ("Pick it up
a little, Ben, and for God's sake, put some more punch
into it!") would be an imposing task for most for us. But the IMDB
lists five movie producing credits for Raffin since 1996; she's been quite
successful behind the scenes; perhaps, minor gaffe aside, this is the
way she envisioned (enheard?) the book.
Grade:
B-
The Quality You've Come to Expect
from Leonard Nimoy!
Simon
and Shuster Audio Dramatization starring Leonard Nimoy and John de Lancie.
Featuring Roxann Dawson, Robert Ellenstein, Marnie Mosiman, Andrew Robinson,
Armin Shimerman. With Keegan de Lancie and Owen de Lancie. Directed by
Jack Fletcher. Script by Nat Segaloff. Music composed and performed by
Peter Erskine.
Ooh, I hated this at first sight and at
first listen. Hated it.
First, there's this
pomposity on the back cover: "After years of being associated with
other people's projects, we wanted to enter the next century at the helm
of our own," said Leonard Nimoy, best known for his portrayal of
Mr. Spock in the original Star Trek productions. "Alien Voices gives
us a chance to work with other artists who also want to branch out, yet
still provide audiences with the quality they've come to expect from us."
As regards that legendary quality we've
come to expect, let me ask you a question. Have you ever heard Leonard
Nimoy sing "Proud Mary?" That happened
one time when Nimoy decided to 'branch out,' and speaking for myself,
that's the quality I've come to expect. If ever
there was a guy who has not suffered from his
association with other people's projects, it's Nimoy. This notion that
Nimoy and his compatriots have been somehow held back by the people who
have employed them in the past -- is downright silly.
(Parenthetically, if you're the kind of
person who can't hear The William Tell Overture without thinking of the
Lone Ranger, prepare yourself for "Mr. Spock, Time Traveler.")
Nimoy also is quoted, on the back cover,
as saying: "We are presenting Verne, Wells and other giants of the
science fiction genre as they, themselves, might have wished to be heard."
Well... maybe. Or maybe they would have preferred that you read their
books.
You may come to think that this production
is waiting for the next century after
you push the play button. Fully three-and-a-half minutes pass before
anything happens. There's two minutes of music at the head, and
it's another 1.5 minutes before the story gets underway. This probably
has to do with the format of the "Alien Voices" series, which
I assume runs on radio somewhere, but... well, it's a bit much.
Stealing a page from the Pal film, Filby
is the narrator here. (Wonder if that's something Wells might have wished?
And if so, why didn't he write it that way?) The Time Traveler is given
the name John, who calls Filby "Filby." (And everyone else
involved in this effort has the last name "de Lancie").
Another reason to hate this version right
off the bat is the initial meeting between The Time Traveler and his guests.
Nimoy's troupe interprets this not as intellectual sparring, but rather
as bad tempers flaring. The opening scene turns into a yelling match.
Nimoy's Time Traveler sounds positively furious at his guests. Everybody
is annoyed with everybody else; you get the impression that The Time Traveler
may set off on his journey just to get away from this bunch.
The adlibs by the Time Traveler's guests
are terrible. And the producers wanted to use sound effects wherever
possible... but did we have to hear the guests knocking on the table as
they're saying, "Well, we'll look under the table?"
All of that said, I have to admit... I started
to like this version more... when it became Nimoy's monologue in the world
of 802,701. Actually, it gets quite good. And Nimoy gets quite good! In
the words of Sebastian Cabot: "I'll be damned!"
Major Quibble 1: The voices of the Eloi
are run through an audio processor and the results are robotic -- inappropriate
and distracting. Oh! Wait! I get it! That's the "Alien Voice!"
Never mind.
Quibble 2: A new character -- an Eloi named
"Meendo" -- has been added for purposes of convenience. I don't
think Wells would have liked "Meendo" any more than I did.
Bottom line: Seriously flawed, but
listenable and even kind of fun... if you're willing to switch off a few
critical faculties.
Grade:
C+
(Three MP3 audio samples above made by Sandra Petojvic, May 4, 2014)
So
engrossing, you'll be pleased to encounter traffic jams
The
Time Machine (Commuter's Library) 1993 Cassette
Unabridged
reading by Ralph Cosham. Commuter's Library. Produced by Sound Room Publishers,
PO Box 3168, Falls Church, VA 22043; 1-800-643-0295. ISBN 1-883049-25-3.
Copyright date 1993. [email protected]
Unabridged
Reading; 2.5 Hours on two cassettes.
This is a solidly professional piece of
work all round - well-planned, well-performed, highly entertaining. It
does not have the "star power" that fuels other versions. But
while reader Ralph Cosham doesn't have the 'name,' but he's got the audiobook
chops to make this clearly one of the better unabridged readings currently
on the market.
Part of his success comes from his pace.
Ben Kingsley takes 200 minutes to read the Novella; Cosham zips through
in 150, making this the edition of choice for Type A personalities and
those who have attended the Evelyn Wood Speed Listening Course.
But, in fact, The Time Machine simply 'plays'
better at this pace; it is, after all, an adventure
story. Cosham gives an excellent reading and does justice to Wells' prose
as well as to the story. Highly Recommended.
Grade:
B
(Youtube link above made by Sandra Petojvic, May 4, 2014)
 
Laurels
to Hardy, but abridged too far?
The
Time Machine (Music for Pleasure) 1979 Cassette
Abridged
reading by Robert Hardy. Container: TC-LFP 80087/88; Tapes: LFP 7044.
Producer for and distributed by Listen for Pleasure Ltd., 111 Martin Ross
Avenue, Downsview, Ontario, Canada M3J 2M1 Copyright date 1979;
Performance copyright 1981; no running time listed.
Abridged
Reading.
Here's the one that gets my vote. A passionate,
inspired reading packed with personality; a brilliant performance that
sweeps you up and makes the text sound like poetry. Hardy breathes new
life into book... so much so that it sounds like he's telling us the tale...
rather than reading us the book.
The cuts in the text are small, numerous,
and graceful.
Hardy is perhaps best known for his performance
as Siegfried Farnham in the television series based on the vet stories
of James Herriot.
The performance to which all others must
be compared.
Grade: A
Original
Problem: Few Turntables spin at 16 rpm. Current problem: Few turntables.
The
Time Machine (Audio Book Company 1961) Vinyl
Unabridged
reading by Dan O'Herlihy. Audio Book GL 17; Audio Book Company, St. Joseph,
Michigan. On 4 ultra microgroove 7" (45 rpm-style) 16 rpm phonograph
records.
Unabridged
Reading.
If the information on the back cover is
correct, what we have here is an historic recording: "Here, recorded
in its entirety for the first time, is The Time Machine, the famous
novel by H. G. Wells which has long been regarded as being perhaps the
greatest science fiction story of them all."
So this is the first complete
audio edition, made possible by "These revolutionary new 16 rpm Talking
Book phonograph records [which] may be played on any 16 rpm record player.
They may also be played on any 33 1/3 rpm phonograph by using the Audio
Book speed reducing adapter available for that purpose. Simply place the
adapter on the phonograph turntable and play as any other records."
We have no information on the adapter; the
best guess of the audio technologists I contacted was that this "adapter"
was a piece of plastic in the shape of a human finger that rubbed against
the edge of the turntable. The Audio Book Company is currently celebrating
the 28th anniversary of its bankruptcy and could not be reached for comment.
First prize for best
cover artwork, though. And a really nice reading from Dan O'Herlihy.
Review to come.
English
Home Court Advantage
The
Time Machine (Penguin Audiobooks) 1995 Cassette
Unabridged
reading by Brian Cox. Penguin PEN 174, ISBN 0-14-086173-4. Produced by
John Theocharis. 1995.
Unabridged
Reading.
Worst Cover artwork.
Or at least, most inappropriate: "City of the Future" by Frank
R. Paul, from the April 1942 issue of Amazing Stories. I'm sure
you remember the part about the Morlocks flying planes, don't you? Why
do I envision a Penguin Art Director saying, "Yes, please send us
a 'City of the Future' Picture, anything will do..."
Review to come.
Fun
for the Kiddos
H.
G. Wells's The Time Machine (Wonderland Records) Vinyl LP
This is a faithful, highly abridged version
of the story; basically a monologue with a few really bad sound effects
scattered about (the Eloi are voices played at quadruple speed; the crackle
of the forest fire is the crumpling and uncrumpling of a piece of wax
paper which sound remarkably like the crumpling and uncrumpling of a piece
of wax paper) and some music that dates (roughly) from the Jurassic era.
The headline on the jacket says "Great Movie Adventures in Sound
and Story," and though this production has nothing to do with the
MGM film, the producers did find a young woman who sounds
exactly like Yvette Mimieux in both in timbre and delivery. My favorite
moment, though, is when one of the Time Traveler's guests comments at
the end of the Time Traveler's story... in the voice of Cary Grant. Too
dull (and faithful) to really interest young children.
Grade:
D
Equal
Opportunity Time Travel
The
Time Machine (National Public Radio)
This is a 58 Minute version that... are
you ready?... is narrated by a woman - Winifred Phillips. You can hear
a sample by clicking on the picture above, which will take you to her
homesite. The emphasis here is on a balance between the music, especially
composed for this program, and the reading, which is actually quite excellent.
It's an enjoyable production with a solid performance by Phillips... recommended.
"The Time Machine" is a "scientific
romance," not a traditional romance.
But if you infer a little
"traditional" romance between The Time Traveler and Weena, you
might well wonder whether the first-person narrative sounds at all odd
when a female Time Traveler speaks to us about Weena.
Not to worry. Also unique to this version:
the character of Weena does not appear!
NPR� Drama, on D.A.M. CD, which contains
both a standard CD audio version and an MP3 version. The disc will play
on standard CD audio players or on computer, either from the standard
audio or from the MP3 file. Price: $12.99. Credits: Music composed
by Winifred Phillips; Produced by Winnie Waldron; Written by H. G. Wells,
Host: Winnie Waldron, Actress: Winifred Phillips.
Grade:
B+
Click
here or on the image above and hear an mp3-sample
of the Winifred Phillips's Time Machine. Or right-click here
and download the mp3-sample. And the link to Winifred Phillips is www.winifredphillips.com
. Sandra Petojevic, Master of Arts,
December 2, 2006.
Two Time Travelers
The
Time Machine (the radio production)
In this version of the Wells
tale, originally heard on the program "Escape," two
time travelers venture into the future together -- thus facilitating dialogue
for a radio production rather nicely.
Grade:
B+
Don Brockway, March 9 2001, updated October 12 2004.
Last update made by Sandra Petojevic, Master of Arts, May 4, 2014.
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